The Faith of her Friends

This week my dear friend, Abby Alexander, is sharing her perspective on caregiving... One thing that I have learned from Connie is hospitality. Not the flashy, showy hospitality but nitty-gritty hospitality. I first met Connie in 2010. 14 years ago. She was a missionary in Fort Wayne at International House , an outreach for refugees placed in Fort Wayne. I was part of a college group from Huntington University which volunteered with the youth program weekly. It was our shared ministry that forged our friendship, but it didn’t fade when we both moved away from Fort Wayne in 2014, she to North Carolina to be with her folks and I to China to teach English. Her journey back to Fort Wayne took longer than mine but nevertheless the “saggy mattress” (her description) of Fort Wayne, pulled us both back. Given this history, I would say that I have known Connie throughout many seasons, and it has always been her simple, everyday hospitality that has challenged me to grow in this area as wel...

This week, my dear, fun, strong, goofy, dancing-queen friend, Andrea Smith, shares how she joined my care team and what caregiving means to her. Caregiving . What exactly is it?  Definition: Caregiving is the activity or profession of regularly looking after a child or a sick, elderly, or disabled person. (just a quick google search, lol)  I have always LOVED helping and serving. I love children, I love being able to support other people, but there’s also a deep rooted selfishness and pride that can underlie the outward selflessness. I have been blessed with numerous caregiving positions throughout my life so far and meeting Connie has been one of the biggest blessings over the past couple years.  If I’m being honest, I was super hesitant to meet Connie and start helping her. When my dear friends Abby and Ruth brought it up, I felt like I was much too busy to add *another* thing to my plate. Especially another potentially taxing responsibility, but I was curious. So, I v...

ONE-two-three, ONE-two-three... Move my hand,  Shift my hips Turn my head,  Pull my knee... Sometimes it feels like playing Simon-Says Sometimes it feels like I'm giving commands Sometimes it feels like a video game And sometimes it feels like I'm leading a dance. Five, SIX, seven, EIGHT... Arms up,  Hair brushed Feet flat,  Bed made... It's a rhythm I dance to every day A dance with lead moves that I know by heart But since I can't move, I have to submit While others more able master their part And-a ONE, And-a TWO... Seatbelt on,,  Elbows in Straighten toes in my shoe... I need to be patient as others learn And slow myself down to the leader's pace Instruct, correct, explain, and then repeat If not graceful, at least be full of grace.  - "The Dance," by C.L. Chandler It's been a while since I've written a poem! But this is an idea that has been floating around in my mind for a while, and I thought it best to put it in rhyme and rhythm. This poem ...

Thankfully, I have not been sick this year so far! I attribute it to excellent caregiving, answers to prayer, and intentional healthy choices about sleep, exercise, breathing, and eating. I make sure to eat a balanced array of vegetables and fruits, proteins and grains each week, in addition to taking multivitamins, probiotics, elderberry supplements, colostrum, and water. My friendship caregivers do a great job of helping me maintain this healthy lifestyle.  But having 20-30 different helpers means that inevitably at least one person is usually sick! I'll get a call or text saying: "I have a cough/sniffles/sore throat today. Do you still want me to come?" It's taken me a while to come up with a good response to that... See, I am not a germaphobe or hypersensitive about stuff like that, so as long as a person isn't actively throwing up or running a fever, I am fine with them being here. Plus, I still will need help, so if one person can't come, I need some tim...

This week I'm thrilled to have my dear friend, Julie Smith, sharing her thoughts and reflections with you on being a part of my caregiving team. I'm sure many of you will be able to relate to her and be encouraged by her insights!  One of the most challenging and likely most beautiful parts of caregiving (for the receiver in a community of givers) is the abundance of perspectives and expertise.  I am slowly recovering from perfectionistic tendencies that require me to do every job not only correctly but over and above the highest standard.  When you’re a part of a team of caregivers, you each bring something unique and special to the table.   Within that, questions can begin to roll in, gaining momentum until the largest snowball is blocking the threshold of helping: How do I anticipate needs like Pam? prepare food like Rachel? clean like Shannon? be as precise as Abby? know how to intuitively fix or replace things like Mandy? etc…. I know I am able to do some t...

I've asked a few of my caregiving friends to write guest posts to share about their experiences of taking care of me. This week's post is from my dear friend, Mandy Wood: Connie and I have been friends for years. We went to the same church, were in the same small group for a while, and had movie/game nights with our shared friends. When my family and I moved to Maine, she and some friends came out and stayed with us for a week. Upon the two of us moving back to Indiana, where our friendship had started years prior, she had reached out asking if I would consider being a part of her friend-care team. Up to this point, we were great friends but when that question vibrated through my ears, I have to say I was heavy with intimidation and did not want to be a part of it. What would this mean? This was a whole new level of friendship I hadn’t anticipated. I put it off for a little while and eventually forgot about it. It wasn’t until a month later when my grown daughter had mentioned ...