A Taste of Independence

 The weekend I moved to Fort Wayne, my parents were here to help me, but Monday morning we said good-bye and they left to go home to NC. That day, I felt the weight of what I had done... I had moved into an apartment that was all my own. I was working on building a care team, and I knew Kevan and Katie were nearby, but that day I felt alone. I cried a bit and had some anxiety, and then I gave myself a pep talk: 

"Connie Lynn, you have been dreaming about and longing for this chance for years! What's wrong with you?! For the first time, you're getting to learn what it looks like to be independent! So try to enjoy it, why don't you! Quit sulking and do something to celebrate this momentous occasion!" 

As you can tell, I'm not very gentle or compassionate or patient with myself. But the pep talk worked, and I decided to go out on my own. I took my book and phone with me and went to the park, found a comfortable and shady spot, and read for a while. Then I cruised around to the Landing to take myself out for dinner. I went to Mercado, a street-taco restaurant, and asked for a table for one. My waiter was the bartender, a very nice and helpful man who gave great recommendations. I got a taco and a cocktail, and he brought me plasticware and a straw, and I just sat there, taking my time and savoring the flavor of independence, which by the way, absolutely tastes like lime.

Anyone who has shared a meal with me before will, at this point be thinking, "Oh girl, you ordered a taco? What were you thinking?" I know, I know, with my ridiculous lack of fine motor skill grace, and tendency to drop things, it does seem like a poor choice. But the waiter explained to me that their street tacos come on a flat, open-faced tortilla with a ton of stuff piled on top of it. So I figured I could eat most of the stuff with a fork, and then roll up the rest in the tortilla to finish it off... and it worked! I also chose to get a daiquiri as my celebratory drink, because it was small and came in a light-weight glass that was easy for me to hold. I was pretty proud of myself for not spilling anything or making a gigantic mess. 

I asked the hostess to help me get my credit card out of my purse and put it back, too. And after paying and thanking my waiter, the hostess opened the door and I was on my way to meet my first evening caregiver. I couldn't help but smile and felt like I had accomplished something pretty significant.

I don't typically enjoy eating alone, but I like the idea that I can... maybe I'll do it again sometime soon.

Comments

  1. AnonymousJuly 4, 2022 at 8:33 AM

    Steady On ! You can do it ! Know so much about your "steady On" family that you will enjoy this new part of your life ! Love each Chandler so very much ! Joyce Kessenich

    ReplyDelete

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