Country Roads

 This week some friends and I drove a country road that was very familiar to me, but instead of taking it home to NC as I've done many times over the past thirteen years, I took it to a new destination: Kingfield Cottage, near the New River Gorge National Park, and a stone's throw from Grandview. 

It was my brother Kevan's idea, for me to get away to a lovely and peaceful place for a writing retreat, and where better to get away than wild and wonderful West Virginia! Of course, a big appeal to going there was to visit our friends, Sam and Gina Smith, who host the AirBNB and live close by. Sam and his son were there when we arrived to help us unload the car and get settled, and make sure the house really was as accessible as they hoped it would be for me (it was!). 

It was the first trip I'd taken with my friend Kathryn, who I only met for the first time last fall. She's a busy mom of three young kids, and my tendency has always been to not even ask my "mom friends" to go on trips with me, because it feels like an unreasonable ask. But as I've gotten to know Kathryn and some of the other ladies who help with my care at home, I've decided that there's no harm in asking. The truth is, I know they would be a lot of fun on a trip, and if things fall into place for them to get away, then it is sort of my way of being able to bless them with a special gift. Besides, they can always say no, but at least they'll know that I want to spend time with them. 

Kathryn was the first person I asked about this adventure, partly because I knew she and her kids have been reading "The Green Ember" series, which Sam Smith wrote, so it would be fun for her to meet the author. I also told her that her ten-year-old daughter, Vivienne, was welcome to join us. I really wanted to have a third friend come along, and so I suggested that Kathryn ask her mom, Roberta, who I'd met a couple of times. Kathryn was able to work it out so that her two younger boys stayed with a friend, and on more than one occasion she asked me if I was sure I wanted to take three generations of her family (I did!). It was the perfect company, and I am so glad it happened the way it did. 

On the 6-hour car ride, there and back again, we told stories and shared life in a way that made me feel like we'd been friends forever. All three of them were great with my caregiving, too. Kathryn conquered every challenge with impressive strength and grace (so she's earned Professional Caregiver status!), Roberta lent a helpful hand with my travel lift and meals, and Viv found her unique skill set in handling the ramp and door on my van and pitching fresh ideas for my writing project.

We were only there for two nights, so the time flew by much too fast, but here are the highlights: 1) I made significant progress on my writing project, especially being able to sort out some tangles that had been confusing me for a while; 2) my friends got to explore and hike because the weather was great and the scenery was awesome, so they enjoyed their time; 3) we got to have afternoon tea and cookies with the Smiths, who are incredibly kind and generous people that I am thankful to have in my life. I call that a "win-win-win"! I'm so glad we did it, and I look forward to more adventures like this ahead! 







Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Disabled is not synonymous with Unemployable

I recently learned that I was losing my Medicare insurance coverage, and when I asked why, I was told that it is because of a change in my disability. This is very confusing, because I have had the same disability my entire life, and will continue to have the same disability until the end of my life; that's the weird and inconvenient thing about being diagnosed with a rare and incurable gene-based motor-neurological disease. So when I tried to correct that false assumption of a "change in my disability," I was told that my diagnosis didn't matter in this case.  ?? I'm sorry, what?? After feeling like I was in a Lewis Carroll story for a while, or like I was playing "Who's on First" with Abbott and Costello, I finally decoded that when the person was using the words "you are not disabled," what they actually meant was "you are employed." So in that context, they were correct: losing my medical insurance had nothing to do with my
Read more

Guest post: Fear to Friendship

Image
I've asked a few of my caregiving friends to write guest posts to share about their experiences of taking care of me. This week's post is from my dear friend, Mandy Wood: Connie and I have been friends for years. We went to the same church, were in the same small group for a while, and had movie/game nights with our shared friends. When my family and I moved to Maine, she and some friends came out and stayed with us for a week. Upon the two of us moving back to Indiana, where our friendship had started years prior, she had reached out asking if I would consider being a part of her friend-care team. Up to this point, we were great friends but when that question vibrated through my ears, I have to say I was heavy with intimidation and did not want to be a part of it. What would this mean? This was a whole new level of friendship I hadn’t anticipated. I put it off for a little while and eventually forgot about it. It wasn’t until a month later when my grown daughter had mentioned
Read more

"At least I still have..."

Image
 Over the past year I have become good friends with a woman here in Fort Wayne who has multiple sclerosis, and has struggled with some pretty aggressive digressions in her strength and health lately. She is a remarkable human being, and I love so much about her, from her sassy curly haircut, to her Brooklyn, NY accent, to her candid way of being authentic about her thoughts, to her faith in the Lord that keeps getting a daily workout.  We talk a lot about disability and faith, and how to hang on to hope in the dark moments of loss and depression. We've also talked about our "thresholds," as in, the limits we imagine our hope might have. "At least I can still sit up," she might say. "I don't know what I'll do when I have to lay down all the time." Last year around this time, she said something like, "At least I can still use my hands..." only, the thing is, she lost the strength in her hands this year and can no longer feed herself and
Read more