Guest post: Fear to Friendship

I've asked a few of my caregiving friends to write guest posts to share about their experiences of taking care of me. This week's post is from my dear friend, Mandy Wood:

Connie and I have been friends for years. We went to the same church, were in the same small group for a while, and had movie/game nights with our shared friends. When my family and I moved to Maine, she and some friends came out and stayed with us for a week.

Upon the two of us moving back to Indiana, where our friendship had started years prior, she had reached out asking if I would consider being a part of her friend-care team. Up to this point, we were great friends but when that question vibrated through my ears, I have to say I was heavy with intimidation and did not want to be a part of it. What would this mean? This was a whole new level of friendship I hadn’t anticipated. I put it off for a little while and eventually forgot about it. It wasn’t until a month later when my grown daughter had mentioned she was going to be part of Connie’s friend-care team and there it was again, back in my life. Shoot! How could I say no or try to forget again? I reached out to Connie apologizing for the delay and hesitantly obliged at the opportunity to care for my friend.

As I started helping her, my eyes were quickly opened to the level of intimacy that comes from caring for her. Our cups of coffee/tea had now turned into so much more—A bath, getting her dressed, placing a spoon in her hand, pulling her hair back away from her face. All of a sudden, the once heavy intimidation I harbored was replaced by an honor, a bond, a friendship I don’t believe I’ve ever experienced before outside of my husband and kids. There was this vulnerability her and I danced in. For her, involuntarily, for me a choice. She offered something to me in a friendship, I had never experienced from any other. This need to be cared for and yet such grace, perspective, a glimpse into the heart of Jesus, just to name a little. The questions of curiosity I once had no longer seemed inappropriate to ask but were welcomed by her with such grace and attention. In fact, those questions brought us even closer. I wanted to truly know my friend. How she felt, what she thought, what was it like to be her? 

True friendship happens in proximity to one another. It happens when joys are shared, victories are celebrated, and mutual rejoicing takes place. It also happens when each others’ flaws, weaknesses and uglies are exposed. The raw brings out the real. Now, 2 years later, I sit at her feet, figuratively and literally while we chat about life. We share our hopes, dreams, struggles, and things the Lord’s showing us. Now, there is no awkward tension, no questions unasked, no intimidation. Just pure friendship. It’s no longer me caring for my friend, we care for each other. 

It’s a friendship I couldn’t have dreamt up because it’s just so good. I love my Connie.